It is the desire of most ladies to get hooked to a man at certain age brackets for support, procreation and affection. But all around today, we have many single ladies with no suitors.
There are many single ladies and as well as bachelors who would want to get married, but the fear of uncertainty of the future of the union have really prevented many from doing so owing to unpredictable economic situation.
P.M.EXPRESS findings showed that there were enough women and men who really wanted to get married but it appeared both sides do not want to gamble into it to avoid devastating consequences and regrets in the future.
To some ladies, it was better to live with their parents and bear the societal stigma of being single than to marry a man with unpredictable future and also get deprived of some privileges they were getting from their family. And for some men, they preferred to remain single than to embark on the marriage journey without having the means to sustain it.
However, most women were more worried because of the period of their productivity stage which some said was between 45-50 years.
Some of the spinsters and bachelors who spoke to P.M.EXPRESS said indeed they may have wanted to marry but it was not possible due to certain factors.
Miss Karia Anumba, 41, lamented that she had lived and changed many cities in Nigeria looking for suitors but those she met were afraid because they were not sure of the future of the marriage. She revealed that she tried to convince and persuade the men she had contact with to make the move and even assured them that she would manage no matter the condition, but regretted that none of them agreed to marry her.
Anumba said she quickly relocated to Lagos from Abuja when she realized that she was gradually turning into prostitute because of the drive for marriage.
She explained that since she came to Lagos, she had engaged herself with a work and was still searching for interested men but yet to get one. She narrated that some men who were above 40 years still roamed about and do not want to get married; attributing it to fear and economic condition as most of them were jobless.
Another lady simply known as Doris, 39, (surname withheld) said that she had slept with some men in order to entice and persuade them to marry her, but of all the men she met none was ready for marriage.
They all gave the same reason that they will not be able to cope with keeping a family yet. She said that she has given up and lamented that probably she might not marry again and had left everything to fate.
Doris said she was ready to marry any man because of the pressure she was getting from her brothers’ wives who always abused her to leave the family and go and get married.
It was not only Anumba and Doris that had such experiences, some other women also expressed their frustration and blamed it on the economic situation where men were not getting jobs and were getting older without partners.
A 44-year old bachelor, Mr Tony Nweje explained that it was not that he wanted to remain single, but had to be very realistic with himself. He said he does not have a good job, accommodation and can barely feed himself. He explained that if he was to add his family members, wife and probably children and extended family, he wondered how he would be able to cope with the situation.
He suggested that the only solution was for the government to provide for the young graduates roaming the streets. He added that if there were good jobs that the men will definitely think of marriage because they will be able to cope.
40-year old Mr. Uchenna Udogu, said he was not ready for marriage because he does not want any embarrassment from anybody and had no means to sustain any marriage. He said he was not perturbed by his age, adding he will only consider marriage when he had enough means to do so.
“We know what is happening between couples in various homes when there are no resources and no reasonable man will put his head in such situation because people will say he has not married” Udogu said.
However, a female Lagos Lawyer, Barrister Sherry Osakwe said it was a serious societal problem that the government needs to address urgently. She noted that there were no jobs for young graduates to take and wondered where they were expected to get money to marry.
She said that if the issue of employment was not tackled, the society will be wasting a lot of women between 35 and above because the women were now competing with the younger ones who may be stumbling blocks for them to get suitors.